my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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