Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
