i think i have herpe
just one?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
