ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
ttyl tear gas
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think my moral compass just broke
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