I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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