Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
