trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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