that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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