508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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