Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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