I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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