What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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