So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
