walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
