...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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