I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
