Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize