I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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