I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize