if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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