i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
