Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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