So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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