She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"