i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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