i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.