i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
