better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
