What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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