There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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