Me too!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
