I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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