Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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