yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
