I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
