Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
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Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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