Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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