I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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