I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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