the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
