We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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