We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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