There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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