how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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