Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
