Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She told me I should be a condom model.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
