8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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