people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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