some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
