Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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