i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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