the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
