I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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