As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
