You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
