Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
