Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
