I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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