the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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