tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
