apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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