I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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