he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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