Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize