She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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