And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
