tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize