I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
