dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
