Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
