the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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