it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
