I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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